Politics

Some bloke called Steve named Brexit Secretary for a bit

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Comedy Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that the new Brexit Secretary will be a bloke called Steve.

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New Brexit Secretary inaugurated with traditional goblet of bubbling turds

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New Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay has been inaugurated into his new role at the Department for Exiting the EU after swallowing a massive goblet of shit, as is customary for those occupying his office.

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Dominic Raab insists he’s NOT a rogue sex robot for Tory women of a certain age

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Dominic Raab is NOT a sex robot that has broken his programming, according to reports this afternoon.

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Pudsey declared fit for work by DWP as he can still use his other eye

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The DWP have told loveable bear Pudsey that he should go and find work instead of receiving handouts, on account of the fact he is not fully blind.

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New Indiana Jones film to feature search for a workable Brexit deal

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Steven Spielberg has announced that a new Indiana Jones film will be about the search for a Brexit deal which will make everyone better off.

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Nation pisses itself laughing after David Davis claims an FTA with the EU would take 3 months

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In the midst of high tensions surrounding Brexit, the country was provided with some light relief when a man who failed to get a failed to get a basic departure agreement after 18 months told them they could sign a comprehensive trade deal in less than 3.

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Theresa May’s cabinet downgraded to a ‘chest of drawers’

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After a number of ministerial resignations following the release of the Brexit deal, the House of Commons has voted unanimously to downgrade Theresa May’s cabinet, to a more suitably termed ‘chest of drawers’.

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‘Brexit Withdrawal Agreement Is Brilliant’ to be printed on side of bus to secure support amongst idiots

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Theresa May, the Prime Minister for at least the next hour or so, will begin her campaign to sell the draft Brexit withdrawal deal to the public by printing ‘The Brexit withdrawal agreement is brilliant’ on the side of a big red bus.

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Aim of Brexit referendum to unite Conservative Party now fully achieved, confirms David Cameron

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The Brexit referendum has succeeded in achieving its primary aim of settling the internal squabbles of the Tory party, the ham-faced former party leader has confirmed.

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“Coup is the wrong word” says shotgun-wielding Jacob Rees-Mogg

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The removal of the Prime Minister should not be described as a coup, according to the man acting quiet coup-ey this afternoon.

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