As part of the government’s Global Britain strategy, the UK has offered help to the Egyptian government by sending in the world’s foremost experts at claiming a widely mocked catastrophe is actually a brilliant opportunity that will be praised by future historians.
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Alex Salmond has launched a new political party with the promise that it will get on top of the Scottish people as quickly as possible.
Chancellor Rishi Sunak is today insisting that workers will likely quit if they are not forced to go back to commuting on the nations crumbling infrastructure to sit in a poorly lit office for eight hours a day, instead of being allowed to work from home.
A draft government white paper proposing that all babies should be tattoed with a gigantic Union Jack has been leaked to the press this morning.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
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