To prevent the spread of the Coronavirus on American soil, US President Donald Trump has the extraordinary step of signing an executive order requiring the closure of all pizzerias across the United States.
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The deaths of countless millions could well be a price worth paying to stop Liverpool winning the premier league, according to Manchester United fans this afternoon.
The Government has confirmed that it is currently finalising plans to comprehensively blame the EU for any serious outbreak of coronavirus in Britain.
Nobody in the North of Britain has caught Coronavirus because they’re that bloody hard, according to a World Health Organisation report published today.
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