Half-term update – Indoor waterparks now 80% spit and urine
It has been revealed today that indoor water parks are now 72% spit, 15% snot and 8% urine as half-term finally comes to an end across England.
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Government pledges ‘same day’ GP appointments for anyone successfully spending four days on hold for the receptionist
The government today pledged to improve access to GPs in England, including ‘same day’ appointments for anyone lucky enough to actually reach a receptionist in order to book one. Health Secretary Therese Coffey will unveil her plans for improvements in GP waiting times later, which could see patients able to book an appointment to see
Man waiting three years for hip replacement and who can’t afford hot baths still hates cyclists more than the Tories
As NHS waiting lists reached a record 6.8 million, a man waiting for a routine procedure on his left hip has successfully shifted his anger onto Britain’s cyclists whilst weighing up if he could justify the cost of using his toaster for the reduced crumpets he’d picked up in the supermarket.
New Indiana Jones film to feature search for the mythical ‘NHS dentist’
The latest instalment of the Indiana Jones franchise will show the eponymous hero and his quest to find an NHS dentist taking on patients in 2022.
