Health

‘Vaccine passports infringe my right to privacy’ insists man whose wife knows less about him than Facebook

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Facebook user Simon Williams is today bemoaning vaccine passports as a huge affront to his right to privacy and is using his Facebook profile where everything is set to ‘public’ to do it.

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Man drops his opposition to vaccine passport after learning it will be covered with Union flag

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The union flag could never be on the cover of something bad, according to a man who has changed his position on vaccine passports today.

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Another government U-turn on Covid passports is ‘one option’ says minister

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Another government U-turn on the use of so-called ‘Covid passports’ is one option the government are considering it is revealed today.

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Man disappointed not to get a sticker and a lollipop with his vaccine

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Local man Simon Williams got jabbed in the shoulder this morning and didn’t even get a lollipop for being brave.

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Anti-masker heading into surgery insists doctors free their faces and ‘remove their muzzles’

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Ardent anti-mask campaigner Simon Williams has demanded the surgeon carrying out his thoracic surgery ‘free his face’ and stop being a sheeple today.

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Amazon launch new portable bathroom range for busy employees

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Stung by criticism about staff having to relieve themselves into bottles as they don’t get enough time off to even visit a lavatory, Amazon has released a new own-brand range of portable bathroom utensils to help workers ‘on the job whilst on the job’.

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Boris Johnson to mark anniversary of lockdown by skipping Cobra meeting and shaking hands with Covid patients in ICU

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson has confirmed that he will mark the first anniversary of lockdown in the traditional fashion by failing to attend a crucial Cobra meeting and then visiting a local hospital to shake hands with Covid patients in intensive care.

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UK marks one year and two weeks since first coronavirus lockdown should have started

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The UK is to mark one year and two weeks, maybe three, since the first coronavirus lockdown should have started today.

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Scientists reconsider status of crows as ‘smartest animal’ following evidence they share antivax memes

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Scientists have today begun to reevaluate the position of crows as ‘nature’s smartest animal’ after a number were witnessed sharing anti-vax memes in the wild.

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Carveries start putting food under the lights in preparation for reopening next month

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Britain’s carveries have started putting lovely, fresh-cooked meat and vegetables under the lights so they’ll be good and solid when they re-open in a months’ time.

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