Health

Post-Brexit shortage of water treatment chemicals leaves promised ‘sunlit uplands’ covered in sewage

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As the government confirmed a post-Brexit shortage of water chemicals could see water companies given permission to put sewage into the open water system untreated, early reports reveal Brexit’s sunlit uplands are already starting to smell of shit.

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Red pill actually just horse dewormer, admits Morpheus

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The Red Pill –  which Morpheus claimed would open Thomas ‘Neo’ Anderson’s eyes to the real world –  is just a generic horse dewormer that he bought off the internet, the black-clad guru admitted today.

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Joe Rogan reveals he beat Covid with nothing more than Ivermectin and thousands of dollars of FDA-approved monoclonal antibody treatments

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Podcast host and vaccine sceptic Joe Rogan has revealed he contracted Covid but recovered in just a few short days thanks to a strict regimen of Ivermectin and thousands of dollars of FDA-approved monoclonal antibody treatments.

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Man who doesn’t trust vaccines currently swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer he ordered off the Internet

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Reports are emerging of a Covid-denying vaccine sceptic who is swallowing handfuls of horse dewormer that he ordered on the Internet to ward off a disease he doesn’t even think is that serious.

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Hopes high new vaccine could protect against James Corden

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A new vaccine could be as much as 80-90% effective against James Corden, studies have shown.

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Classy Glaswegian restaurant just grates a light sprinkling of batter onto your food

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Glasgow – The Grand Scots, Glasgow’s latest and classiest fine-dining experience, is really pushing gastronomic boundaries by just grating from a lump of the finest batter onto your food.

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Anti-vaxxer refusing to eat after seeing YouTube clip about thousands of people who choked to death on ‘food’

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An anti-vaxxer is refusing to eat today after reading about the dangers of choking on the Internet.

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Smoking surge coincides with surge in looking cool

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England has seen a rise in people taking up smoking that correlates with a rise in the number of people looking cool.

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Anti-vaxxer refusing to wear seat belt because people wearing them are still dying in car crashes

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That guy you know from school who is always banging on about Covid being a conspiracy and the vaccines being ‘the thin end of the fascist wedge’ has today told you that he refuses to wear a seat belt because those that do, are still dying in car crashes.

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How I beat Covid the ‘natural way’ with nothing more than an ambulance ride and four nights in hospital on oxygen, by Right Said Fred

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Right Said Fred singer Richard Fairbrass has spoken of his heroic victory over the Covid virus, despite not being vaccinated, insisting all it took was his own immune system, one ambulance ride and four days and nights of extra oxygen.

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