Health

Brexit bus message updated to ‘We send the EU £350 million a week. Let’s fund a privatised American healthcare provider instead’

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The infamous Brexit bus has had its message changed from ‘We send the EU £350 million a week. Let’s fund the NHS instead’ to ‘Let’s fund a privatised American healthcare insurance provider instead’.

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Scientists may one day discover cure for being Ann Widdecombe

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Science may offer a cure for being Ann Widdecombe one day.

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Last person to use festival toilets clearly got something badly wrong with them

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The last person to use these bogs has got something badly wrong with their guts, we can exclusively reveal.

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Missouri makes menstruation a crime after learning ovum could have been a child

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As part of a growing trend in the southern US states to curtail the reproductive rights of women, the state of Missouri has criminalized having a period, after discovering that it was the discharge of a viable ovum.

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Alabama outlaws abortion in cases of incest because that’s about half their population

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Almost half the population of Alabama could be affected if abortion in cases of inbreeding was legalised, reports have confirmed today.

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Donald Trump convinced Roe vs Wade was legendary 1970’s Wimbledon final

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Roe vs Wade was an outstanding tennis match featuring Virginia Wade and someone called Roe, rather than an important piece of abortion legislature, according to Donald Trump.

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90 deaths per month would only be an issue if our ‘fit for work’ assessments were carried out by Jeremy Kyle, insists DWP

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The Department for Work and Pensions has defended the latest figures which have shown 90 people a month die after being declared ‘fit for work’, insisting this would only be a problem if the assessments were carried out by Jeremy Kyle.

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Man wondering if he can talk about Fight Club yet

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51-year-old Simon Williams is wondering if he can talk about Fight Club yet, we can confirm.

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Nation having less sex than ever pleads with broadcasters for fewer images of Nigel Farage

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Brits across the nation have pleaded with broadcasters and news organisations to stop putting pictures on Nigel Farage on the television and in their newspapers.

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Winterfell Starbucks introduces Giants Milk Latte

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Giant’s Milk Chai Latte is the latest addition to the range at Winterfell Starbucks, to help keep you warm through the endless winter.

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