Health

Global conspiracy to poison entire population under threat after Ryanair introduces chemtrail surcharge

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Ryanair is to implement a new surcharge for all chemtrails dispersed during their flights.

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Man angry at ban on junk food advertising worried he might forget what a cheeseburger is

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A man who has loudly described his opposition to a ban on advertising junk food, is really just worried he might forget about some of the things he likes.

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Government to ignore expert advice on drug laws and instead base policy on series 9 & 10 of Grange Hill

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Following calls by London Mayor Sadiq Khan to review Britain’s drug laws, the government has insisted that it will rely instead on the plight of Samuel ‘Zammo’ Maguire from Grange Hill to inform policy.

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Man grateful as bladder provides nice forty-minute warning that his alarm will go off soon

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A man is feeling grateful today after his full bladder provided him with a nice forty minute warning once again, that his alarm for work will go off soon. 

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More children are starting school at risk of Measles, but should you get your child vaccinated? Take our interactive test to find out!

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With news that one in ten children is started school at risk of catching measles after millions miss their vaccinations, we ask, ‘should YOU get your child vaccinated?’

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After banging his shin, Bruce Springsteen advised to stop dancing in the dark

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After Bruce Springsteen suffered a painful bang on the shin after enthusiastically dancing in the dark, doctors have advised him to put a stop to the practice.

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Man secretly vaping on the bus definitely ‘getting away with it’

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A man discreetly vaping on a bus has definitely got away without anybody noticing, by only blowing out gently downwards towards his legs. Simon Williams, who also vapes in the pub using exactly the same discreet method emerged from a thick cloud of smoke earlier to get off a bus without anyone noticing that he […]

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Person found who doesn’t have Covid

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There was widespread shock and surprise at news that a person in the UK has been found who doesn’t have Covid.

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Covid upswing sees Government move quicker than ever before to ignore it and hope it goes away

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A huge increase in UK cases of Covid has seen the Government move quicker than ever before to ignore the virus and hope it goes away.

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Don’t panic but don’t start any new box sets, advises government

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The UK government has said that the threat of nuclear war is still remote but that people might want to take a day off work to go swimming with dolphins.

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