Seasonal Affective Disorder more punctual than Southern Rail
Your Seasonal Affective Disorder has arrived bang on time yet again, putting to shame those organisations that work to an official timetable.
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Fat and ugly Scots fearful for sex lives as government proposes minimum alcohol price
The government is proposing a minimum price of 50p per unit of alcohol in Scotland in an effort to stamp out ugly and fat people having sex.
Ed Sheeran to celebrate recovery from two broken arms with massive wank
Ed Sheeran is said to be looking forward to a monumental bout of masturbation after spending six weeks with two broken arms.
Cheese will never let you down, studies show
Cheese outperforms having a boyfriend or a girlfriend on all measures of life satisfaction, according to a study published today.
