Emergency service providers throughout the UK have urged households to ‘prepare for an all-out methane attack’, as dads across the nation begin their last few days of training ahead of the untold evil of Boxing Day’s evacuation of Christmas Dinner.
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A nearly grown-up man formerly known as a ‘legend’ around his university campus is beginning to face up to the realities of his new life.
Despite the shining example of generosity depicted in the Bible, midwives have today issued advice against giving newborn babies exquisite yet practically useless gifts for Christmas.
Jeremy Hunt, the MP for cockney rhyming slang, has today expressed his relief at being able to pin the blame for the state of the NHS on someone other than himself.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
