Environment

Countries to step up efforts to blame different countries for climate crisis

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In the wake of David Attenborough’s plea to address the climate crisis, countries have stepped up efforts to blame different countries for the situation the planet finds itself in.

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Africa to replace clanging chimes of doom with actual Christmas bells this year

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Arica has announced that instead of their traditional clanging chimes of doom, this year the continent will use Christmas bells.

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Greta Thunberg celebrates winning Time’s Person of the Year by drinking cider in the park with her mates

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Climate Activist Greta Thunberg has celebrated being named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year by going down the local park and drinking cider with her mates.

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Climate change deniers unveil an evil Greta Thunberg

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Senior representatives of the planet’s leading climate change and global warming denying organisations have met today in the Texan city of Corpus Christi, where the first International Smoke Summit has been inaugurated, an event that aims to counter the UN Climate Change Conference in Madrid.

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Poor to stay warm this winter by burning huge piles of unread Liberal Democrat election leaflets

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The Liberal Democrats have been hailed as ‘lifesavers’ today, after it was revealed that every house in the country has received several sacks of election leaflets from the party.

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Climate change caused by indoor smoking ban Labour introduced in 2006, claims Boris

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Boris Johnson has claimed that the 2006 Health Act which Labour introduced to prevent people smoking inside public places is directly to blame for climate change.

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Venetian gondoliers now offering romantic boat tours of Venice’s historic rooftops

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With floodwaters in Venice now at their highest for fifty years, gondoliers are making the best of the situation by taking tourists on roof-level tours among the historic and picturesque spires, chimneys, and TV aerials of the historic city.

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Brexiters at a loss trying to find a way to blame floods on the EU

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Harrumphing xenophobes who view every tragic event as part of a European conspiracy to keep Britain down have been struggling to come up with a convoluted argument to blame Brussels for excess rain.

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Yorkshireman puts visiting Boris Johnson to work in flood defences as replacement sandbag

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Boris Johnson has been put to work as part of the flood defences outside a Yorkshireman’s house this morning, despite hoping for nothing more than a warm handshake and a photo opportunity.

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World leaders confident they will be able to ignore climate study endorsed by 11,000 scientists

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World leaders led by Donald Trump are confident they will be able to successfully ignore a new study that declares Climate change to be a ‘clear and unequivocal’ emergency.

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