Bloody swans demanding gluten-free bread now
The pushy middle-class parents of the waterfowl world have announced that they’re gluten intolerant and you need to respect that.
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Summer officially over as the first Tory backstabbing of Autumn is sighted near Westminster
Observers of seasonal change have blamed climate change for an early fall, as many people reported squirrels hoarding nuts, leaves turning brown and members of the Conservative party ruthlessly putting their own ambitions over party loyalty, the good of the country or even basic decency.
Seagulls refusing to follow the trawler due to scallop-related violence
The normal state of affairs, in which seagulls follow trawlers, has been savagely interrupted by our former friends and EU partners, France.
Ignore what the so-called ‘experts’ say and throw us some damn bread, demand ducks
Ducks across the country are demanding that you continue to throw pieces of bread in their direction, no matter how bad so-called experts insist it might be for them.
