Brexit Party officials have taken time out from their busy schedule of staring at the back wall to warn British citizens that a large shark off the coast of Cornwall is likely just a group of migrants looking to take advantage of our soft-touch benefits system.
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GREAT NEWS! It’s time to break out the beach towels and tanning lotion as The Sun has OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED SUMMER by running its annual “A Great White Shark Has Been Spotted Off The Coast Of Cornwall” story.
A field normally given over to grazing dairy cattle was returned to its former, pristine condition last night.
After a six month study, scientists have confirmed that Theresa May joins cockroaches and flies in being the only creatures who could survive a nuclear blast.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
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