Simon Williams, a contributor to satirical websites and malodorous problem drinker, has decided to hide his lack of creativity by pretending his cheap barbs about controversial public figures are all part of a sophisticated 3rd-degree joke that only the savvy reader is a party to.
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The Ninja Turtles have grown up, and so have their problems.
In a tell-all interview on Fox News, Piers Morgan assured America that the UK supported his crusade against Meghan Markle as can be seen by how many people hurl insults and threaten scrotal removal with ill-adapted tools whenever his name is mentioned.
Two shiploads of sailors caught in the ice whilst searching for the elusive Northern Passage are being stalked and terrorised by a bear which displays uncannily human-like characteristics, according to missives received by the Admiralty today.
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