Entertainment

It wasn’t me, it was Antifa, claims Shaggy

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Despite being caught red-handed and on-camera banging on the counter, the sofa and in the shower, Shaggy has accused Antifa of cheating on his girlfriend.

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New edition of Warhammer to be set in Washington DC

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The next edition of Games Workshop’s game of terrifying, chaotic despair and sudden violence will be set in Washington DC just after one of the President’s speeches, the company has confirmed.

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Hollywood celebrities wondering which John Lennon song to butcher this time

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Gal Gadot and her celebrity friends are currently looking to record a follow-up to their viral ‘hit’ cover of ‘Imagine’, it has emerged.

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Schools declared safe by famed virologist and all-round brainbox, Kirstie Allsopp

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Everything is going to be OK because Kirstie Allsopp has said so.

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Government unveils new guidelines to help people avoid being exposed to Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’

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An outbreak of Whamaggedon has resulted in additional measures being put in place to help members of the public avoid exposure to George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, the government has announced this morning.

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Donald Trump calls for Home Alone 2 be renamed ‘The Donald Trump Christmas Extravaganza’

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Soon to be unemployed dystopian US President Donald Trump has called for Home Alone 2 be renamed The Donald Trump Christmas Extravaganza.

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2020 delivers yet another horrific blow as Mrs Brown’s Boys recommissioned until 2026

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The year 2020 is completely taking the piss now, with the shocking news emerging that long-running ‘comedy’ Mrs Browns Boys is set to continue on our screens for at least another six years.

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UK negotiators to play Robbie Williams’ Christmas song on repeat until EU accepts their demands

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Boris Johnson has instructed his Brexit negotiators to play the new Robbie Williams’ song ‘Can’t Stop Christmas’ on repeat until the EU begs for mercy and meets their demands.

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UK/EU talks deadlocked over who gets to keep Fish

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Britain and the EU have convened eleventh-hour talks to prevent the collapse of negotiations after it emerged both parties are willing to go to the wall over who gets the lead singer of Marillion.

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People on social media under the impression Elliott Page wants the feedback of angry Daily Mail readers from Daventry

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Red-faced harrumphers across Britain have somehow developed the odd notion that the announcement by Juno star Elliott Page, of his gender transition, was some sort of invitation for them to give or withhold approval.

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