Entertainment

David Beckham refusing to give up hope that Victoria will join Spice Girls on tour

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The Spice Girls will reform in 2019 for a stadium tour of the UK and David Beckham is still holding out hope that his wife will join them.

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Four poorest Spice Girls tell followers that what they really REALLY want is some more money

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Eighty per cent of the Spice Girls have made it clear that what they want – what they really, really want – is for their respective bank accounts to look a little healthier.

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Bake Off to move post-watershed for giving young people ‘unrealistic expectations of cake’

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The next series of The Great British Bake Off will be deemed adult viewing after complaints it was distorting perceptions of cake in the minds of impressionable adolescents.

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Britain’s racists left shocked as Bake Off winner fails to launch Jihad

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The ‘great’ British public were left speechless this morning after the brown winner of Bake Off spent his first day as the title holder without blowing anything up.

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Bake Off producers confiscate Prue Leith’s phone until final episode has aired

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Producers of The Great British Bake Off have taken Prue Leith’s mobile off her until the final episode has aired this evening, it has emerged.

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Dominic Raab hoping that another political episode of Dr Who will explain best way forward for Brexit

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Brexit Minister, Dominic Raab, has today revealed that he is hoping to persuade the BBC to make an episode of Dr Who based around the story of Brexit, which will clearly explain what the Doctor would do at this point.

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Goth Father Christmas making sure everyone on his list is naughty

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As Hallowe’en is Goth Christmas, their Santa is making last minute checks to ensure he only delivers presents to the naughty ones.

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Everything a false flag now

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Everything on the news was done by someone else to trick you, according to really clever people on internet comments threads today.

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Sinead O’Connor converts to Jediism

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Pop star Sinead O’Connor has announced that she has renounced her long-held Catholic beliefs and converted to Jediism.

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Nigel Farage to join Top Gear

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Nigel Farage is to present the post-Brexit Top Gear because that’s the sort of thing that happens now, according to reports this morning.

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