Entertainment

Man with no plan whatsoever for Brexit outraged by someone pointing it out

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Leading Brexit campaigner Simon Williams has reacted with fury today after it was pointed out he had no idea whatsoever what to do next.

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Adventurer parents to hold Alignment Reveal party for their new baby

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Thrognar the Barbarian and Symbellia the Sorceress are inviting friends to a party where they will reveal the alignment of their newborn child, they have announced.

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Man to celebrate the Year of the Pig by focusing on capitalism and male chauvinism

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Local man Simon Williams is really going to get into the spirit of the Year of the Pig by dedicating the next twelve months to capitalism and male chauvinism, we can report.

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Honesty no longer the best policy, confirms Liam Neeson

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Explaining that you did something you’re not proud of in an honest an open manner is definitely not the best policy, according to Liam Neeson today.

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Black man admits wanting to murder ‘some actor bast*rd’ after watching Liam Neeson in Love Actually

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A random black man, Simon Williams, wanted to take it out on some actor bastard after his girlfriend forced him to watch Liam Neeson in Love Actually.

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21 Savage revealed to be long lost British Royal called Frederick Thistlewick Sauvage

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21 Savage, the rapper taken into ICE custody in America for allegedly being British and overstaying his visa, has today been revealed to be a long lost Royal.

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Maroon 5 sentenced to death

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Maroon 5 have ruined America, and for that, they must die.

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Theresa May ‘stuck in a time loop’, being forced to make the same Brexit offer over and over again

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Theresa May keeps waking up to find Parliament is forcing her to make the same Brexit offer every day.

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Peter Jackson to make Beatles film more scenic by setting it in New Zealand

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Filming for Peter Jackson’s upcoming movie about the Beatles will take place in New Zealand, it has emerged.

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Daddy Pig ‘deeply hurt’ at being called a Gammon

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Hardcore Remain campaigners have caused Daddy Pig ‘considerable upset’ after levelling abuse at him in public – including calling him a ‘Gammon’, which he found deeply insensitive.

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