Gordon the Gopher ‘heartbroken’ at not being asked to appear in Webuyanycar adverts
80’s TV legend Gordon the Gopher has spoken for the first time of his heartbreak at being ‘left behind’ by former sidekick Philip Schofield.
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Man who has never paid for an album in his life outraged by price of tickets to live shows
A man who has free-streamed every single piece of music he’s ever listened to simply cannot understand why artists charge so much for live shows, it has emerged.
Queen calls for ‘respect and understanding’ between normal people and the mindless twats who disagree with them
People should show respect and common decency to the mindless twats who disagree with them, the Queen has said in a speech.
Drink-driving less bad if you’re good at telly, confirms public
Drink-driving is kinda sorta not as heinous as long as you can entertain us, the British public has confirmed today.
