Education

Duchess of Cambridge FUMING as Prince George sent home from school for inappropriate haircut

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The Duchess of Cambridge is said to be extremely upset after her son was sent home from school for a contravention of the dress code.

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Eton applications at all-time low after public see the sort of adults it produces

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It has been revealed that applications for Eton college are at an all-time low after parents have been able to see real-life examples of the adults the school produces.

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Teachers celebrate as new £30k salary almost brings them up to the hourly minimum wage

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Teachers are ecstatic that the government’s cynical and empty pre-election pledge of raising their salaries to £30k will finally almost bring them up to the national minimum wage for each hour of their work.

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Five-year-old relieved to have chalked off last National Trust day out of the summer

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A five-year-old is sighing a deep breath of relief after his last visit to one of the three National Trust properties he’s frequented on rotation for the past six weeks, it has emerged.

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Successful A-Level students relax and begin lifetime of exam anxiety dreams

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Students who were out last night celebrating their A-level results awoke this morning in a cold sweat after dreaming they were in an A-level exam they were hopelessly underprepared for.

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Unattractive A* student told to get out of the shot

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A student from London who earned five A* grades in her A-Levels is being repeatedly told to get out of the shot this morning, it has emerged.

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Parent unwittingly gives child a piece of advice that will haunt it for life

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A parent has recently given a child a piece of advice that will go on to haunt it for the remainder of its life.

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Only four more weeks of making shit versions of Forky, parents remind themselves

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Despairing parents are telling themselves that a third of the summer holidays have flown by and they only have to spend another short month sitting at the kitchen table sticking googly eyes onto plastic forks.

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University is where you can just spout off and everyone has to listen, says man who understands nothing about universities

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A man, who labels himself as a free speech advocate, has been making a tit of himself on social media by maintaining that the purpose of universities is to allocate lecture halls to any attention-seeking cretin regardless of how ignorant they are.

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Cambridge withdraws visiting fellowship given to Kermit the Frog

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In a move which has sparked widespread controversy, Cambridge University has announced its intention to withdraw a visiting fellowship given to Kermit the Frog, who had been scheduled to visit the prestigious university later this year.

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