An email from a potential supplier has this morning failed to begin with the now customary concern for the well being of yourself and your family during the lockdown.
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Thousands of people across Britain have been left shocked and confused that a company with the word ‘Virgin’ in the name has somehow left them unsatisfied, after Virgin Media confirmed a series of intermittent outages had occurred throughout the nation on Monday night.
After Wetherspoons declared its intention to reopen some of its pubs in June, die-hard patrons of its establishments have, within days, even minutes, of lockdown, recreated the ambience in their dank lifeless sheds, ensuring no need for the pubs to open again.
Although it refused to commit to a specific date, Downing Street has confirmed it was beginning to explore how the government would eventually make a colossal cock-up of a phased return to full economic activity.
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