A new bill is set to be introduced in Parliament that will see anyone who produces a lachrymose piano cover version of a classic pop song for use in an advert to face the death penalty.
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In response to Vladimir Putin’s continued aggression towards Ukraine, Boris Johnson has issued a tough new sanction against Russia by introducing a tough new law that will effectively ban Russian nationals from laundering money on weekends.
Exhausted Daily Mail staff have admitted defeat in their attempts to blame Prince Andrew’s settlement with Virginia Giuffre on Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex.
A Co-op checkout worker has surprisingly opted against taking a four-month unpaid break from work in order to sit with her children and try to teach them algebra.
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