Business

It’s not f*cking Christmas yet, advertisers told

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Advertisers have been reminded it’s still twatting well November today.

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John Lewis releases Elton John doll in time for Christmas

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John Lewis has launched a new Elton John doll to capitalise on the musician’s popularity following the release of their latest Christmas advert.

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Nation shocked as companies that said they would relocate because of Brexit suddenly relocate

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The ongoing saga of Brexit suffered a dramatic twist as two companies, that had been saying they would have to leave post-Brexit Britain as far back as 2016, abruptly announced that they were indeed going somewhere else.

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Fast food drive-thru shocks customer by getting entire order correct

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A local fast food restaurant has shocked customers by completing a drive-thru order precisely as requested.

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Channel 4 workers to be 200% harder by end of 2019

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Channel 4 workers who will be relocating to Leeds will find themselves three-times as hard by 2020, according to sources inside the company.

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Waitrose install microphones on every till to make sure staff don’t make jokes

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Following the forced resignation of Waitrose food critic William Sitwell, after he made a joke about killing vegans, the supermarket chain has sent out a warning to all staff that the same will happen to them if they dare to demonstrate a sense of humour that deviates from what they consider ‘safe’.

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Barclays moving £250bn EU business to Ireland just Project Fear, insist Brexiters

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Barclays moving its EU business from the UK to Ireland is just part of project fear, according to leading Brexiters this morning.

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Sir Philip Green denies violating [redacted] with a [redacted] while dressed as a [redacted]

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Sir Philip Green has been up to some properly dodgy shit that we can tell you all about because our legal team is definitely better than his.

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“We can tell you all about the unpleasant experience of being fucked by Sir Philip Green” insist 19,000 BHS pensioners

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The 19,000 pensioners in the BHS pension scheme have spoken of their willingness to talk publicly about the unpleasant experience of being fucked by Sir Philip Green.

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Man who says ‘The media aren’t reporting it!’ didn’t actually bother looking

Thumbnail image for Man who says ‘The media aren’t reporting it!’ didn’t actually bother looking

A man furiously posting that the media aren’t reporting something didn’t actually spend the ten seconds on Google it would have taken for him to find out that his assertion isn’t true.

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