Business

Nigel Farage blames petrol chaos on ‘workshy EU migrants staying over there not taking our jobs’

Thumbnail image for Nigel Farage blames petrol chaos on ‘workshy EU migrants staying over there not taking our jobs’

After visiting seven petrol stations in the desperate search for fuel, Nigel Farage has blamed the petrol chaos on lazy EU migrants who are determined to stay in their own countries doing jobs they enjoy for people who like them.

Read the full article →

Man admits furlough was highlight of his career

Thumbnail image for Man admits furlough was highlight of his career

A man has acknowledged that his career will no longer be fulfilling now that the furlough scheme has ended.

Read the full article →

Amazon’s new ‘Astro’ household robot caught fiddling his own tax returns

Thumbnail image for Amazon’s new ‘Astro’ household robot caught fiddling his own tax returns

Amazon’s newly released Astro household robot has been caught trying to avoid paying tax on his earnings in his first week of employment it is revealed today. Astro, which has been unveiled by Amazon this week to provide assistance to its owners using Amazon Alexa’s virtual assistant technology was spotted fiddling his tax returns earlier […]

Read the full article →

Major rail incident declared as Huey Lewis found riding train without credit card

Thumbnail image for Major rail incident declared as Huey Lewis found riding train without credit card

British Transport Police were called upon earlier today to resolve a dispute involving rock legend Huey Lewis.

Read the full article →

We’ll happily sell fuel to people who win fights, confirm petrol stations

Thumbnail image for We’ll happily sell fuel to people who win fights, confirm petrol stations

The fuel industry has confirmed that violence is definitely the best way to procure petrol for your vehicle.

Read the full article →

Government proposes a ‘clap for lorry drivers’ to ease delivery crisis

Thumbnail image for Government proposes a ‘clap for lorry drivers’ to ease delivery crisis

Transport Secretary Grant Shapps has proposed a regular ‘clap for lorry drivers’ to thank them for their hard work making deliveries.

Read the full article →

Switching the heating on now is like handing victory to the Russians, insist male UK tight-arses

Thumbnail image for Switching the heating on now is like handing victory to the Russians, insist male UK tight-arses

People across Britain experiencing the first autumn chills have discovered a new obstacle to putting the heating on this morning.

Read the full article →

Chris Grayling to return as Transport Secretary to sort this shit out

Thumbnail image for Chris Grayling to return as Transport Secretary to sort this shit out

With the haulage and fuel industries in crisis, Boris Johnson is rolling out the big guns to sort everything out – Chris Grayling is back.

Read the full article →

Government unveils ‘guaranteed to work’ petrol track & trace app to beat fuel crisis

Thumbnail image for Government unveils ‘guaranteed to work’ petrol track & trace app to beat fuel crisis

A government smartphone app to monitor petrol availability and allocate refuelling appointments has been unveiled this morning, as queues to petrol stations continue to grow.

Read the full article →

“Look at all these idiots panic buying” mutters every single person in petrol queue

Thumbnail image for “Look at all these idiots panic buying” mutters every single person in petrol queue

Nobody in that massive queue for petrol is panic buying, but everyone else in the queue definitely is, according to reports this afternoon.

Read the full article →