PoliticsUKWe must reject cancel culture and have the freedom to say what we like, insists man making it illegal to protest against his government
SportsWorldMan who stayed up for the Super Bowl enjoying full day of telling everyone he stayed up for the Super Bowl
PoliticsWorldEmbarrassed Vladimir Putin admits he finds it difficult to invade while everyone is watching him
SocietyUKSecond child proves absolutely useless after failing to attend ‘baby sensory’ or yoga classes
BusinessSocietyUKCo-op checkout worker surprisingly opts against four months without wages to help her children study algebra
PoliticsUKVideo emerges of Boris singing ‘Let the Bodies Pile High’ to tune of ‘Wonderful Christmastime’
UKMet Police to begin emailing drug dealers and robbers to ask if they have committed any crimes recently
EntertainmentSocietyUKDuchess of Cambridge to read The Rich Pricks Who Make Poor People Pay For Their Castle, confirms Cbeebies
HealthTechnologyTechnology that allowed paralysed man to walk again is better late than never, insists Jesus
BrexitPoliticsUKJacob Rees-Mogg spends first afternoon in new role checking under furniture for any misplaced Brexit opportunities
PoliticsUKBoris Johnson promises full inquiry to discover who is responsible for repeating false claims about Keir Starmer and Jimmy Saville
PoliticsUKBoris Johnson sang ‘You’ve gotta fight for your right to PAAAARRTY’ to new communications chief
HealthSocietyUKMan running 30 minutes on treadmill without spitting, surprisingly unable to run 30 seconds on the road without spitting
