UKWorldPrince Andrew demands US court dismiss case after finding ‘get out of jail free’ card in palace Monopoly set
SocietyUKToddlers and babies confirm ongoing commitment to completely ignore end of daylight savings time
SocietyTechnologyUKPhrase “absolutely beautiful” used only by middle-aged men commenting on random women’s photos
SocietyUK‘He’s just a big softy this one’ and ‘Mine just likes to play’ – Your guide to generic dog chat
EntertainmentScienceUKMan who crept into Mike Graham’s garden to replace small lump of concrete with slightly larger one every time it rained nominated for Turner Prize
EducationScienceUKAnti-vaxxer showing photos of dead bodies to children at school gates still confident he’s ‘the good guy’
BusinessPoliticsTechnologyUKGovernment insists ‘nothing to fear’ from storing state secrets with company that regular throws your stuff into your neighbours’ garden
EnvironmentPoliticsUKGovernment hails fishing-rights victory over France as Britain’s seas now teeming with ‘brown trout’
HealthPoliticsUKNew Government advice: Show coronavirus you’re not afraid by licking a stranger’s face
EnvironmentPoliticsUKPriti Patel’s plan to stop migrant boats by surrounding UK with floating barrier of shit nears completion
EntertainmentWorldAudiences walk out of new Dune movie after discovering it doesn’t feature Sting in his underpants.