EntertainmentPoliticsUKBoris Johnson’s last minute Zoom quiz slammed by viewers after he forgets to ask any questions
SocietyUKSeverely hungover man cared for by wife with kids birthday party, visit to in-laws, and a trek around Ikea
HealthSocietyUKMan claiming we need more time to see long-term effects of Covid vaccines, insists fortnight-old Omicron variant is ‘nothing to worry about’
PoliticsUKPolice find damning evidence of parties at Downing Street, after remembering they provided the security
EntertainmentPoliticsUKTeenager shocked that parents upstairs noticed she was holding big Christmas party
HealthSocietyUKMan furious at the tyranny of ‘vaccine passports’ choosing to ignore bit about ‘negative lateral flow tests’
PoliticsUKFlustered Emperor Palpatine says he is “satisfied that no destruction of Alderaan took place”
EntertainmentPoliticsUKMan comes downstairs for breakfast to find aftermath of 60-person party he didn’t even know was happening
BusinessHealthSocietyOffice worker gets around ‘home working’ rule by carrying a pint and pretending it’s a party
EntertainmentPoliticsUKBoris Johnson announces arrival of fifth, sixth, seventh or maybe even eighth child
EntertainmentPoliticsUKBoris Johnson announces Plan B for the public and Cardi B for the Number 10 Christmas party
HealthPoliticsUKGovernment set to announce ‘Plan B’ restrictions which they will subsequently ignore completely
PoliticsUKBoris admits there was a Christmas party, but only so that everyone there could test their eyesight
PoliticsUKPolice suspect Downing Street Christmas party did occur after finding multiple photocopies of Boris Johnson’s arse
PoliticsSocietyUKGovernment instantly clears courts backlog with new policy of not punishing crimes that happened in the past
HealthSocietyUKOpinion: Hypothermia only kills 300 people a year, it’s time to stop being frightened into wearing big coats
PoliticsUKTories reveal ‘Schrödinger’s Christmas party’ which is both legal and illegal until police decide to take a look at it