NewsThump

Tenuous Irish connection enough for most people, finds survey

Ferguson to ban touchlines

Ailing Census 2011 to be redrafted as ‘fighting fantasy’ novel

UN on verge of agreeing to conversation about holding a meeting to discuss Libyan no-fly zone

SXSW unveils new things to whittle away at your remaining productivity

Hull retaining sense of perspective

London’s first Olympic fixture exceeds expectation by working for almost a day

Strauss stomach bug gives England hope of World Cup progress

People we said know best, clearly don’t know best, insists Health Minister

Arsenal on verge of signing Tony Adams till end of season

Black people don’t like villages, insists Midsomer Murders creator

Olympic marathon organisers admit defeat in trying to charge for pavement space

IPCC praises false arrest police officers for ‘excellent teamwork’

I must be on the moon to explain about the moon, Brian Cox tells licence fee payers

We’ll sign as many non-binding voluntary pledges as you like, says Alcohol industry

Clegg vows to defend ‘wakes up at 4am and goes for a piss’ Britain

I’m committed to the NHS, says man bankrolled by private healthcare provider

Charlie Sheen ‘already better than everything on Channel Five’, claim critics

Japanese tsunami victims were killed/saved by good God/bad God, claim religious lunatics

Glee pays tribute to role of paedophiles in modern pop music

Fred Goodwin super injunction forgot to prevent his identification as a ‘devious prick’

Look at this photo of Idi Amin dressed as Joey Deacon, says Daily Mail

NUS offers to help control Police protests

Government urges poor people to die younger

Phil Collins to receive award for most popular retirement

What are you doing to save money on petrol?

Government to ban promotion of cigarettes in place everyone goes to buy cigarettes

Arsenal turn attentions to domestic failure

Women take a moment from cooking everyone’s pancakes to celebrate female empowerment

Tesco launches Value Dating website

Newsthump Digest