All Stories – Page 572 – NewsThump

NewsThump Football Phone-in

MPs campaign to make lords suffer Sir Alex

Budweiser will only be used to water the pitch at Wembley, FA assures fans

New Al Qaeda leader promises free healthcare for martyrs

Failing primary schools set to become failing academies

World

I prefer a good knob gag, insists Dalai Lama

Villa fans relieved as Zawahiri takes over at Al Qaeda

Miliband confuses Cameron with incredibly clever cock-up

Police thwart conspiracy to prevent another Joss Stone album

Private sector workers regularly get shafted so it’s only fair you should too, government tells public sector

Politics

Francis Maude becomes first ever Tory to express concern for single mothers

Gaddafis to be seated in the line of fire at Olympic shooting events

Technology

Pub brawls at 30,000 feet ‘the norm’ by 2050, insists Airbus

Government to create new way for banks to make money from you

Ministers begin NHS policy rewrite by opening thesaurus at word ‘dismantle’

All suicides should be unassisted lonely affairs, insist pro-life groups

We’re not sure this is worth 20 years of IT frustration, world tells Bill Gates

Gavin Henson elevates being a ‘laughing stock’ to an art form

World

Republican presidential nomination debate to find most mentally unstable

Politics

Miliband uses speech to acknowledge importance of the ‘moron vote’

Sports

Steve McClaren already well on way to perfecting Nottingham accent

Jan Moir Daily Mail column a hoax, claims US man

UK

Ramblers march to reclaim the word ‘walk’ from feminists

Drinks retailer to advise women how drunk to get when pregnant

UK

Africa planning fundraiser to aid UK’s drought-stricken gardeners

MPs starting to take it up a notch

Hackers offer help to NHS by telling everyone their security systems are shit

Entertainment

Coldplay reluctant to follow The Wombles at Glastonbury

Archbishop reminded that no-one voted for the ten commandments

Further exam disruption as religious studies paper found to contain no answers

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