All Stories – Page 565 – NewsThump

Carling Cup now being taken less seriously than Nick Clegg

Entertainment

X-Factor reject blames family for happy upbringing

Prime Minister’s job could be interrupted by further holiday-making

World

Libyan rebels show early signs of also being lying dicks

Stock market to be humanely destroyed

World

Colonel Gaddafi urged to hide somewhere better than Saddam’s farmhouse cellar

You should have insisted you were looking for WMDs, Blair tells rioters

Your punditry career looks like being the same as your England career, viewers tell Gary Neville

UK

Dorset man pulled free from sister

Technology

IBM’s new ‘human’ computer chip to think about doing some work after Eastenders

Celebrity Big Brother staff to draw straws for who will try to evict gypsy Paddy Doherty

Ryanair to introduce additional ‘pissed on by a celebrity’ supplement

unattractive a level student with excellent grades

Unattractive A* student told to get out of the shot

RBS basic account holders to retain fortnightly, supervised ATM visits

Government announces new ‘looting zones’ to boost economic collapse

BBC to consider cutting channel that requires viewers to pay attention

Sports

Arsenal fans expecting further punishment as Wenger returns to dug out

News International extractor fan hit by large quantity of faeces

Billionaire Warren Buffett wants to pay more tax, what do you think?

New police advice to include ‘stopping people doing illegal things’

Joey Barton uses Twitter to propose unified field theory of physics

UK

End of world predictions looking more plausible as Michele Bachmann wins Iowa straw poll

50p tax rate probably contributed to the riots, claims Osborne

Isn’t it about time we gentrified the blacks, asks David Starkey

Theresa May defends handling of Joey Barton situation

Business
UK

Destroying the High Street is our job, Tesco warn rioters

Entertainment
World

Bert and Ernie to continue ‘living in sin’

Sports

Arsenal ‘crisis’ deepens after Gunnersaurus mascot spotted in Barcelona Tapas bar

Fingers were at the heart of riot organisation, claims Cameron

Government blamed after ‘bored’ teenager resorts to picking up a book

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