NewsThump

Dozens killed as clashes between rival Android and Apple fans escalate

British couple to take goldfish to Australia for life-saving surgery

Ebola panic subsides as scientists find cure for white people

Pistorius judge to offer Ant & Dec lessons in building suspense

Scottish referendum parties do battle for lucrative North Korean endorsement

Independent Scotland will be a lot like Mad Max, claim RBS

Eager fan spots giant red arrow shapes on leaked Star Wars set photos

Apple Watch to finally make eye-contact obsolete

Katie Price changes Apple iCloud password to ‘password’

Alex Salmond claims independent Scotland would part own Royal Baby

Daily Mail reveals Jack the Ripper was a ‘Bloody Polish Immigrant’

Obama keen to build ‘bigger and better’ Stone Henge in US

Midsomer Murders character will ‘probably be fine’

Cameron ‘not ruling out’ action that could win him a GQ humanitarian award

Surgeons encouraging victims of illness to operate on themselves

Horrific new terror video shows Richard Littlejohn with head firmly attached to his shoulders

Rooney’s inspiring speech mistaken for drone of strimmer

The fish is off so what would you like instead, waiter asks Alex Salmond for hundredth time

House spiders taking the piss now

iCloud empty

Stolen nude photos a ‘disgusting invasion of privacy’, insist men busy googling for them

Key to survival is taking points off our relegation rivals, insists Van Gaal

Being a closet racist was exhausting, claims UKIP’s ‘outed’ Douglas Carswell

Our society is still far too egalitarian, complain Oxbridge graduates

#IceBucketChallenge is stupid, claims man without any nominations yet

3-foot wasps nest in bed now top excuse for avoiding sex

We must teach Uzi safety to our toddlers, insist US gun advocates

David Moyes hospitalised following prolonged laughing fit

‘Ebola Bucket Challenge’ yet to really take off

Televised Scottish Independence debate ‘still going strong’ in pub round corner

Newsthump Digest