EducationWorldTeacher with dream of nourishing young minds fortunately also quite keen on learning how to kill people
PoliticsUK‘How did we miss this?!’ screams furious police chief insisting detectives re-read Boris Johnson’s self-completed questionnaire
SocietyUK‘I’m fine without a carrier bag’ insists man balancing seventy-two items of food on his body
PoliticsUKGovernment split on whether to use the Sue Gray report to distract from inflation catastrophe or vice-versa
PoliticsUK“In the beginning was the Big Bang…” begins surprisingly detailed Sue Gray partygate report
PoliticsSocietyUKDoncaster homeless man delighted with upgrade that now sees him sleeping under the ‘bright lights of a big city’
EntertainmentPoliticsUKChannel 4 should be funded like that streaming service I also appear to have no clue about, insists Nadine Dorries
PoliticsUKGovernment announces new windfall tax to cover the cost of investigating Downing Street staff
EntertainmentPoliticsUKSir Keir Starmer to raise profile with release of funk covers album and short tour
WorldWe were forced to attack people carrying a coffin because they were clearly about to use it as a projectile, insists Israel
BusinessHealthUKGlobal conspiracy to poison entire population under threat after Ryanair introduces chemtrail surcharge
BrexitPoliticsUK‘There was no way to predict this’ explains man to millions of people who predicted this
PoliticsUKTory voter insisting ‘Not All Tories’ still strangely keen to blame all Muslims for terrorism
BusinessHealthUKMan angry at ban on junk food advertising worried he might forget what a cheeseburger is
BrexitPoliticsUK‘Terrifying’ – Boris recalls EU delegates holding gun to his head to make him sign Northern Ireland Protocol
