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Andrea Leadsom defends claims she was in Dexy’s Midnight Runners

Marvel’s new ‘black teenage’ Ironman to be shot by white policeman

Saddam Hussein ‘delighted’ by Chilcot exoneration, claims Satan

Last 200 pages of Chilcot report just ‘Blair is a warbastard’ repeated over and over

No such thing as ‘death’ claims man whose TV show literally killed a man

Chilcot two weeks too late reminding Britain not to act on dodgy intelligence and no plan

Secret of young-looking skin is to not start any wars, experts claim

Green Party picks worst possible moment to hold leadership election

Chilcot report branded a whitewash for not recommending summary execution of Tony Blair

Sir John Chilcot signs lucrative five-report deal with publishers

Actually it was Advanced Dungeons and Dragons that I played, clarifies Gove

Tony Blair keeping fingers crossed

Surviving Conservative leadership contestants move on to Bush Tucker challenge.

Terrible shits deciding who is the most terrible shit

Liam Fox loses Tory race but bags George Foreman grill, magazine subscription

Journalists busy practising their CTRL+F “Tony Blair” functions

Everyone already an expert on the Chilcot report

Cluedo’s Mrs White to sue Doctor Black for age discrimination

Banks given freedom to f*ck it up again

Luke Skywalker hopelessly lost after turning off his Satnav and using the force

Chilcot report to indict Lionel Blair

Politicians left sinking ship long before us, insist rats

Vacant UKIP leader job to be taken by self-loathing immigrant at half the cost

Everyone wondering which aspect of Brexit Chris Evans is running from

Southern Rail a terrorist act against UK

Gossiping when I’m pissed just makes me British, insists Michael Gove

Chris Evans and Nigel Farage in job-swap

‘Leave’ campaign’s Brexit strategy basically Monty Python’s retreat strategy

Nigel Farage resigns to spend more time with his ego

Dreadful cnt to stop cnting

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