NewsThump

Man who demanded sovereignty of Parliament outraged by sovereignty of Parliament

UKIP to turn to the saxophone guy from Lost Boys for their new leader

Making Brexit a success defined by government as ‘making poor people even poorer’

Satan signed off with exhaustion

Lower growth, tumbling pound and rising inflation were on the other bus, insist Leave campaigners

Woman doesn’t like candles

I married Donald for his wonderful bedside manner, claims Melania Trump

UKIP unmanageable and on brink of financial disaster in poignant allegory

Tory councillor to strengthen democracy by making it illegal to disagree with him on Brexit

Northerner has chip surgically removed from shoulder

‘Grabby Trump’ costume becomes Hallowe’en’s biggest seller

New plastic bank notes leaving Sir Philip Green short of things to wipe his arse with

I am capable of articulating whichever argument is most politically convenient at the time, confirms Boris

Man found dead after humming Christmas carol

Scientists confirm breeding population of Hipsters established in the North

Woman hiker admits she knew branch would twang into husband

World enters post-satire era

Battle of Hastings latest: You lost, get over it, Normans tell Anglo-Saxons

Ched Evans ‘Not Guilty’ verdict set to bring out the very best in everyone

Universally loathed Government slips to double-digit poll lead

Republican Party considers replacing Trump with a killer clown

Brexiter would definitely have ‘shut up and got over it’ if referendum result were different

Cat and owner locked in battle of wills over whether they will stand up

Gorilla returns to Zoo enclosure after spending five minutes with British public

Chaka Demus & Pliers keeping diary clear for next year’s Nobel Prize ceremony

If Scotland gets another vote, we want one too, say Remainers

Samsung warned against ringing people to tell them their phone is being recalled

Brexiter claiming ‘we won’ struggling to finish weekly online shop

Brexiters finally on verge of ‘getting it’ after losing their beloved Pot Noodles

Donald Trump furious at women claiming he did things he was recorded admitting he did

Newsthump Digest