NewsThump

Red Skull just standing up for free speech, says HYDRA spokesman

UK Brexit paper proposes ‘magic’ Irish border staffed by fairies

Donald Trump’s Manufacturing Council now just him and man who outsourced his clothing line to China

Scottish baby boxes to come pre-filled with cans of Irn-Bru and Greggs steak slices

Child unhappy with aerodynamic properties of Daddy’s shiny black frisbees

‘No pun intended’ man finally confesses that pun was deliberate

Kim Jong-Un boldly wets himself

Regulated rail fares to rise from ‘Outrageous’ to ‘Exorbitant’

Man photographed enthusiastically waving flaming torch at a Nazi rally unhappy at people calling him a Nazi

Archmaester under fire after taking two days to denounce White Walkers

Primark actually pronounced ‘Child-labour-mark’

Everyone successfully forgotten about that awful Grenfell Tower business

Americans delighted President Trump chose to sleep on it before denouncing violent racists as evil

Trump finally condemns White Supremacists after a neo-Nazi claims more people attended Obama’s inauguration

Citronella Tiki Torches keen to disassociate themselves from Alt-Right movement

Jeremy Hunt’s new toilet just two full-time NHS nurses following him around with a bedpan

David Miliband calls for a second vote on the 2010 Labour leadership election

You lost, get over it, Nazis told

Donald Trump criticises ‘many sides’ in Charlottesville for interrupting his holiday

The future of the white race lies in terrible driving and garden accessories, neo-Nazi groups confirm

Driving a car into people you hate only ‘terrorism’ if driver is brown, confirms US media

Champagne popping heard at Daily Mail offices as black muslim immigrant fails to win gold

North Korea invades and conquers USA

Parents feign interest in daughter’s career for record twenty minutes

Lord Lawson invited onto BBC to argue that the Earth is ‘flat’

Nuclear War ‘might hit house prices’, warns report

Man outraged by Asian grooming gang ‘strangely quiet’ about thousands of priests molesting children

Shocking DNA test result reveals Jeremy Kyle and Piers Morgan were both spawned from the same demon

We tried to give you our corporation tax but no-one was in to sign for it, insist Amazon

Other countries secretly jealous of British weather

Newsthump Digest