PoliticsWorldUse of chemical weapons bad enough to bomb Syria but not bad enough take in refugees, confirms Trump
PoliticsWorldSteve Bannon sits Donald Trump in front of Fox News so the grown-ups can talk about politics
BusinessPoliticsUKUK signs lucrative new deal to supply Saudi Arabia with dunking stools, stretching racks and iron maidens
PoliticsUKWorldUK to fund £100m donation to landmine eradication charity by selling alternative methods of killing people
SocietyUKMan told he’ll make ‘a great dad’ after successfully holding baby for ten minutes without dropping it
SportsUKArsene Wenger to join ISIS as they need someone who can justify five years of consistent defeats
BusinessUKWorldTheresa May furious about Easter Eggs while visiting country where blasphemers are beheaded
SocietyTechnologyUK‘Grammar Vigilante’ suffers heart attack after reading Britain First Facebook page