Subscriber OnlyTechnologyAlexander Graham Bell surprised to get call asking if he’s been in a gas-powered motorised vehicle accident recently
BrexitEntertainmentUKMillwall ‘firm’ offer to represent post-Brexit Britain at Eurovision with ‘No-one Likes Us and We Don’t Care’
PoliticsUKI only argued MPs who switch party should call a by-election because I didn’t know I would do it, insists Andrew Bridgen
BusinessPoliticsUK‘My mortgage is fixed until 2027 so I don’t see what all the fuss is about’: The top five ways Tory bootlickers are pretending everything is fine
BrexitPoliticsUKBrexiter remains convinced his very specific version of Brexit is what the government is obliged to deliver
PoliticsUKThe Archbishop of Canterbury should stop telling everyone what Jesus said about the vulnerable, insist Tory Christians trying to convince themselves Jesus revelled in demonising the vulnerable
SocietyWorldAlt-right commentators keen to distance themselves from Dallas shooter who shared every single one of their beliefs
UKIreland genuinely considering ‘My Lovely Horse’ as Eurovision entry after missing out on final yet again
UKShock as man who happily admitted to grabbing women by the pussy found to have sexually abused someone
BusinessUKFollowing significant investment by rail firms, we reveal their new state-of-the-art excuses
EntertainmentPoliticsUKFears grow that after failing to gain credibility in the local elections Laurence Fox will resume music career
SocietyUKWe had to arrest those protesters because so many of our officers have had their hearing damaged by rape alarms, insist Met Police
WorldAs Serbia plans to tighten gun laws after two mass shootings in a week, the US suggests they should give thoughts and prayers a proper try first
