UK“The trains in my spare bedroom always run on time, so I know what I’m doing” insists Chris Grayling
EntertainmentPoliticsUKJeremy Corbyn calls for ‘meaningful public vote’ on the final outcome of Strictly
EnvironmentScienceSocietyUKBritain responds to David Attenborough’s heartfelt climate change plea by attaching sixty trillion Christmas lights to its rooftops
BrexitPoliticsUKTheresa May tells Parliament ‘I would have shared full legal advice on Brexit deal but the dog ate it’
BusinessSocietyUKVegan upset at being sacked for gross misconduct told ‘no point in crying over spilt milk’
BrexitPoliticsSocietyUKNow would be a good time to reveal your brilliant leaving plan, Brexiters told
BrexitEntertainmentPoliticsUKNation excited by televised Brexit debate between woman who hates debating and man who won’t talk about Brexit
SocietyTechnologyWorldGod against gay marriage but fine with casual sex in train station toilets, insists Grindr president
BusinessEntertainmentHealthSocietyWoman successfully uses chocolate to stave off mid-afternoon craving for wine
BrexitPoliticsUKBrexit advent calendar only has eleven windows and contains dust instead of chocolate
PoliticsSocietyUKBohemian Rhapsody’s poor boy from a poor family declared ‘a drain on society’ by DWP
BrexitPoliticsUKMay and Corbyn clash over what kind of economic collapse they would inflict on the country
BrexitPoliticsUKJacob Rees-Mogg slams rain forecasts as ‘Project Fear’ and recommends everyone leaves brolly at home
HealthSocietyTechnologyWatching TV will give you square eyes, warns Mum whose job involves staring at a screen all day
BusinessSocietyUKOfficially now cheaper to ring numbers at random until you get the correct one, than phone 118
BrexitPoliticsUKIT engineers begin installing update 1 of 14,885 to MayBot Operating System ahead of TV Brexit debate
