BrexitPoliticsUKMan who couldn’t persuade his own MPs to back him insists he can persuade EU to give him a better deal
BrexitPoliticsUKJacob Rees-Mogg accused of contempt for Parliament after defecating in the Commons chamber
BrexitPoliticsUKTories tell themselves to ‘go back where they came from’ after learning they are now a minority
SportsUKMichael Owen calls Newcastle Utd move a ‘nightmare’ as treatment room was nowhere near as luxurious as promised
BrexitEntertainmentSocietyUKBrexiters confused as to why BBC2’s Rise Of The Nazis somehow feels aimed at them
EducationPoliticsUKTeachers celebrate as new £30k salary almost brings them up to the hourly minimum wage
BrexitEntertainmentPoliticsCoronation Street characters to be shown starving to death as Brexit ad campaign uses product placement
BrexitPoliticsUKUnelected bureaucrat warns elected MPs against voting in favour of unelected bureaucrats
EducationSocietyUKFive-year-old relieved to have chalked off last National Trust day out of the summer
BrexitPoliticsTechnologyUKGovernment’s ‘Get Ready for Brexit’ website just a link to the Irish embassy
EntertainmentEnvironmentPoliticsUKThe 1975 left in tears after clever Tory MP asks them why they aren’t cycling to Japan since they’re against climate change
HealthTechnologyUKNew fitness tracker gives most convincing impression yet that it’s helping you be healthy
BrexitPoliticsUKConservatives to be vaccinated against virulent strain of ‘Integrity’ after government whip resigns over prorogation
PoliticsSocietyUKBoris Johnson’s government to establish Ministries of Plenty, Peace, Truth, and Love
BrexitPoliticsUKYou can debate no-deal Brexit but next week’s not looking great, says Brexiter in charge of scheduling House of Commons business
BrexitEntertainmentPoliticsUKBoris Johnson commissions fantasy writer George R.R. Martin to write Queen’s Speech
