EnvironmentWorldCOP27 delegates reach historic agreement to turn that bloody light off if you’re not in there
EntertainmentUKPeter Kay fans urged to save money on tour tickets by remembering things for themselves
PoliticsUKHome Secretary denies it was inflammatory to stand on a beach with a broken bottle yelling “Come on you c**ts!”
UKRight-wing commentators keen to distance themselves from radicalised Dover suicide bomber who believed absolutely everything they said
BusinessTechnologyMan can’t wait to give his personal and payment details to chaotic understaffed website that is desperately looking for new ways to make cash
PoliticsUKMan insists government’s performance should only be compared to fictional alternate reality where Labour are in charge
BusinessUK‘You can’t remove Bounty bars from Celebrations boxes’ insists solitary weirdo who actually likes them
EntertainmentUKKangaroo completely unaware that by next weekend his arsehole will have been consumed by an attention-hungry politician
EntertainmentUKSo patriotic! Views hail BBC Breakfast’s bold decision to show Charlie Stayt having sex with poppy
TechnologyWorldElon Musk buys Santa Claus and introduces new $8 fee to ensure “any child” can become verified and write to him
SocietyUKBoy who spent Halloween evening being rewarded for threatening behaviour ‘now has taste for it’
UKTory MP who has had twelve years to take action in helping homeless veterans quite happy pretending it’s all the fault of this year’s asylum seekers
BusinessTechnology$8 a month is enough to deter bots, trolls, and state-sponsored peddlers of misinformation, insists Elon Musk
PoliticsSocietyUKJust because the terrorist who firebombed an asylum centre agreed with us, doesn’t make us the bad guys, insists Turning Point UK
PoliticsUKTop priority for Tory government remains demonising refugees to distract from their inability to run country
EntertainmentUKMatt Hancock’s first bushtucker trial to involve skydiving into the jungle without the appropriate PPE