SocietyTechnologyUKMen’s deodorant cans need to be ‘unlocked’ because they’re simpletons who like playing with toys, explain manufacturers
BrexitPoliticsUKMPs from all parties working together for the sake of the country is an affront to democracy, insist Brexiters
BrexitPoliticsUKParliament warned not to use its sovereignty to subvert attempts to give it sovereignty
PoliticsWorldDonald Trump announces huge border wall with Canada to prevent Melania pouncing on Justin Trudeau
BrexitPoliticsUKNigel Farage launches £100 a month ‘Brexit Club’ to prove once and for all that fools and their money ARE soon parted
BusinessSocietyUKFinancial Ombudsman refusing to investigate dubious lending practices of Bank of Mum and Dad
BusinessEntertainmentSocietyForthcoming Disney ‘Obi-Wan’ series to focus on heroin addiction and petty crime
EnvironmentUKWorld‘You f*ckers are useless’ declares David Attenborough as he arrives in the Amazon in stolen fire engine
EnvironmentPoliticsScienceWorldMedia declare Amazon fires ‘important enough for front page’ after discovery of old cathedral in the rain forest
BrexitPoliticsUKLooking like a dimwitted oaf who can’t use furniture is a triumph for Boris Johnson, claims Telegraph
PoliticsTechnologyUKWorld‘I am the chosen one’ says man who doesn’t live in real world and wants guns – lots of guns
BrexitPoliticsUKAngela Merkel pissing herself laughing after sending new boy Boris on errand to get some elbow grease