PoliticsUKLondoners suffering from anxiety at the thought of waking up to find Rory Stewart asleep on their sofa
PoliticsUKLet’s build a bridge across 20 miles of open water, says man who failed miserably to build a bridge over 200 metres of open water
UKDonald Trump to build wall around Hollywood to stop foreigners taking Oscars from hard-working Americans
EntertainmentWorldHarvey Weinstein’s Zimmer frame wins supporting Actor Oscar for role in making him look harmless
HealthPoliticsUKCoronavirus ‘a serious and imminent threat to public health’ insists serious and imminent threat to public health
PoliticsUKGovernment explains it has resumed deportation of British people for ‘not needing SPF 50, if you catch our drift’
EntertainmentSocietyUKNation collectively shrugs its shoulders as Piers Morgan finally comes out as a twat
EntertainmentSocietyUKMan reveals little-known superpower of knowing someone was gay just seconds after they come out
EntertainmentPoliticsSocietyUKNation of super clever people use political debate show to talk about a woman’s shoulder
PoliticsUKCouncils to celebrate Prince Andrew’s 60th birthday by flying Pizza Express menus at full mast
PoliticsWorldUS legal system set for overhaul after nation sees benefit of ignoring evidence and witnesses
SocietyUKToddler playing with tea-set left confused as visiting Aunt asks for tall, non-fat latte with extra shot
BusinessSocietyUKOffice psychopath remains intent on using email to communicate with colleague sat next to him
