BrexitPoliticsUKTerrifying, demon-faced trick-or-treater actually just Mark Francois canvassing for votes
EntertainmentSociety’twas the night before Gothmas (or; A visit from Saint Eldritch – a poem for Hallowe’en)
PoliticsUKConcern that Christmas party season election will see drunk voters electing bunch of idiots
PoliticsSocietyUKGovernment will pull election bill if vote is given to people who won’t vote for them
BrexitPoliticsUKGeneral election will definitely sort everything out, insists voter seemingly unaware what happened last time
BrexitPoliticsUKTories greenlight £150m ad campaign to ensure people are no longer acting on the advice of their £100m Brexit ad campaign
BrexitEntertainmentPoliticsUKBrexit 50p pieces to be melted down by casting them into the fires of Mount Doom
BrexitPoliticsUKFarrow & Ball offer Mark Francois a job as further Brexit delay sees his face turn a never-before-seen shade of puce
PoliticsUKGeneral Election for Christmas would just be the icing on the f*cking cake, says weary nation
PoliticsWorldDonald Trump relieved to finally do something nearly – but not quite – as cool as that time Obama killed Bin Laden
BrexitPoliticsSocietyUKClocks going back means Brexit is delayed by another full hour, moan angry Brexiters
EntertainmentWorldShock as Kanye West demonstrates astonishing levels of self-awareness with “I’m the greatest dick of all time” claim
BrexitBusinessPoliticsUKLatest Brexit 50p coin to be left blank so people can write the date in themselves
