BusinessHealthSocietyUK“Why is everyone panic buying?” asks moron who has shared photos of empty shelves and long shop queues
EntertainmentHealthWorldSuccessful medical trial proves celebrities singing ‘Imagine’ causes Coronavirus to die of embarrassment
EntertainmentHealthUKCBeebies’ Baby Club lambasted for ill-advised touching of eyes and ears and mouth and nose
BusinessHealthSocietyTechnologySocial media influencers shocked to find out they are not considered ‘key workers’
HealthPoliticsUKUK confident that in 12 weeks time Boris will deny ever having said anything about turning the tide in 12 weeks
EntertainmentSportsUKFurther football postponements sees desperate Sky Sports secure exclusive rights to Asda CCTV
BusinessEntertainmentHealthSocietyMissing man located buried under collapsed pile of his own stockpiled toilet paper
HealthPoliticsUKRecovered Nadine Dorries encouraged to self-isolate for another four or five years at least
HealthPoliticsUKCOVID-19 made a Tory peer for successfully turning the UK into a country of grasping selfish shits
BusinessHealthUKWorried nation demands reassurance Richard Branson will not be financially impacted by coronavirus
BusinessPoliticsUK‘Business Interruption Insurance’ doesn’t cover your business being interrupted, confirm insurance companies
HealthPoliticsWorldVladimir Putin reluctantly agrees to quarantine himself inside the Russian President’s office until at least 2036
HealthSocietyUKNation recalls stoicism and dignity of Blitz generation by sh*tting itself and fist-fighting over value pasta