HealthPoliticsUKRecovered Nadine Dorries encouraged to self-isolate for another four or five years at least
HealthPoliticsUKCOVID-19 made a Tory peer for successfully turning the UK into a country of grasping selfish shits
BusinessHealthUKWorried nation demands reassurance Richard Branson will not be financially impacted by coronavirus
BusinessPoliticsUK‘Business Interruption Insurance’ doesn’t cover your business being interrupted, confirm insurance companies
HealthPoliticsWorldVladimir Putin reluctantly agrees to quarantine himself inside the Russian President’s office until at least 2036
HealthSocietyUKNation recalls stoicism and dignity of Blitz generation by sh*tting itself and fist-fighting over value pasta
BusinessHealthSocietyUKSupermarkets to impose a limit on mass gatherings of people taking pictures of empty toilet roll shelves
HealthSocietyUKNation’s steadfast bellends solemnly promise to remain utterly vile during the coronavirus crisis
HealthWorld Health Organisation confirms doner kebab with extra Nagasaki sauce and pickled chilli protects against Coronavirus because nobody wants to be anywhere near you
HealthPoliticsUKBoris reassures public that the body bags for Coronavirus victims will be ‘passport blue’
HealthPoliticsUKBoris Johnson reassures nation that government’s finger still firmly embedded up its arse
BusinessSocietyWorldMan delighted by email from Nigerian Prince about inheriting 25 million toilet rolls