HealthUKQueen to tell British public to simply stay at home in their massive castles and live off the taxpayer
BusinessHealthSocietyUKMan who claims to be spending lockdown ‘chilling’ actually just masturbating and eating crisps
HealthSocietyUKAnti-vaxxers close to deciding which medical conditions they will pretend are caused by Coronavirus vaccine
HealthPoliticsUKGovernment confident that if it keeps throwing out numbers about COVID 19, one of them will eventually prove right
EntertainmentHealthUKWe should be more like Germany, say tabloids who were still making Achtung Panzer jokes three weeks ago
HealthSocietyUKMan claiming to have had coronavirus weeks ago because he thinks it makes him look hard
HealthPoliticsSocietyUKGovernment announces 7,000 new ventilators after agreeing to retain all 7,000 existing ventilators
HealthSocietyUKExperts offer catastrophic prediction that we could face up to a year of catastrophic predictions from experts
BrexitBusinessPoliticsUKMan who spent entire Brexit period saying economic forecasts are ‘just guesses’ now wants to let old people die because of economic forecasts
HealthSocietyUKMan who ‘wouldn’t wish these inhumane lockdown measures on his worst enemy’ also favours much tougher prison sentences
HealthPoliticsUKDowning Street kicks off April Fools with hilarious claim that Boris Johnson is ‘working hard from home’
BusinessHealthSocietyUKBottle of hand sanitiser strangely comfortable advertising the fact it ‘never works perfectly’
HealthSocietyUKMan stuck at home ‘very likely’ to die of alcohol poisoning before Coronavirus can get him
HealthSocietyTechnologyUKThe NewsThump guide to sharing ‘amusing’ videos of yourself and other signs you’re having a nervous breakdown
HealthPoliticsUKCoughing, feverish Boris Johnson personally licking shut thousands of Coronavirus letters for British households
HealthPoliticsUKYou can not hide from me, self-isolating Dominic Cummings tells absolutely everyone in government
HealthSocietyUKBored Britons on lockdown grateful for opportunity to spend four hours changing all clocks in the house
