EntertainmentSocietyUKMan who doesn’t watch Strictly because ‘dancing is for gays’ furious as show includes first ever same-sex pairing
HealthPoliticsUKTory suggests poor families make their own Confit de Canard rather than visit expensive French bistros
HealthPoliticsUKPeople claiming to be ‘true British patriots’ oddly determined that a portion of British children should starve
HealthPoliticsUKTory MP Ben Bradley wakes up refreshed following lovely dream in which he was hailed as national hero for proving Marcus Rashford wrong to feed hungry children
HealthPoliticsUKTories step up campaign to prevent children eating by criminalising grandparents who give kids sweets
SocietyWorldWoman who has spent her entire life insisting the Pope is ‘infallible’ confident he’s wrong about ‘the gays’
EducationHealthPoliticsUKHungry children dress up as Tory donor to secure funding for meals during school holidays
PoliticsUKAngela Rayner apologises for calling Tory MP ‘scum’ insisting she meant to say ‘f**king b*****d’
HealthPoliticsUKManchester gets extra £100m from government after all Mancunians retrain as unusable PPE
PoliticsTechnologyUKWatch out for blonde politicians with high sex drives in your cyber career, Jennifer Arcuri warns Fatima
EducationHealthPoliticsUKHistory teacher in year 2120 tells class that lockdown of 2020 was ‘economic suicide’ as everyone saved now dead anyway
PoliticsSocietyUKMutilated voters in the North starting to wonder if voting for Leopards Eating Northerners Party was a good move
PoliticsUKGovernment to use money saved by refusing to feed hungry children to hire three new full-time track and trace consultants
HealthPoliticsUKGovernment to address Covid tier confusion by giving everyone their own individual alert level
