HealthPoliticsUKAll episodes of ‘Coronavirus Daily Update’ to be available to binge-watch on BBC iPlayer during inevitable second peak
BrexitPoliticsUKBrexiters who’ve spent four years saying ‘you lost, get over it’ still waiting to discover what they’ve won
HealthPoliticsUKSoft play centres will remain closed, announces prime minister who has no idea what a soft play centre is
EntertainmentPoliticsUK‘Call the fire brigade, because you’re smoking’ – Emily Maitlis’ new interview technique proves divisive
BusinessHealthUKWetherspoons keen to hire long-distance runners after Boris announces table service must be used in all pubs
HealthPoliticsUK‘Don’t lick a zebra for more than 3 minutes’ – Government coronavirus advice enters surreal stage
BusinessEntertainmentHealthUKRisk-loving adrenaline junkies excited by prospect of cinema pick ‘n’ mix
EntertainmentEnvironmentUKMost popular Springwatch moments to be released on new Blu-ray – ‘Springwatch: Just Shagging’
EntertainmentPoliticsWorldK-pop fans invited to Camp David in hope they’ll allow Donald Trump to hold less embarrassing rallies
SocietyUKFather obviously unloved due to lack of public Facebook message wishing him Happy Father’s Day
SocietyUKDruids facing summer solstice shock as protesters demolish ‘monument to oppression’ at Stonehenge
SocietyTechnologyUKKatie Hopkins supporters mistaking ‘freedom of speech infringement’ with ‘everyone thinking she’s a dick’
UKBoris announces dramatic fall in child poverty after government defines adulthood as legally starting at age 6
EntertainmentPoliticsUKThe only people I would kneel for are the Queen and Daenerys Stormborn, confirms Dominic Raab
EntertainmentEnvironmentUKMissing Springwatch? Recreate your favourite moments at home with our handy unsolicited guide that literally no one is asking for