BusinessTechnologyUKMiddle-aged man urgently reassures his 78 followers that his Twitter account was not hacked
BusinessSocietyTechnologyWorldBitcoin reinforces reputation as most secure and reliable financial instrument used by the most trustworthy individuals
EntertainmentSocietyWorldPrince Andrew beats Sir Alex Ferguson’s long-standing squeaky bum world record
HealthPoliticsUKMasks should be worn on alternate waxing crescent moons when entering buildings whose postcode adds up to a prime number, clarifies government
HealthSocietyUKPeople who insist “All Lives Matter” surprisingly pissy about wearing a mask to protect the lives of others
BusinessHealthPoliticsUKGovernment confirms there is no need to wear a mask in shops as long as you’re carrying a pint
BrexitHealthPoliticsUKThe ‘Blitz spirit’ that will carry us through ‘no-deal’ not that helpful when asked to wear a mask in the shops, insists Brexiter
SocietyUKCannibal left disappointed after tucking into severed hand only to find it was a delicious cake
PoliticsSocietyUK‘Cancel culture is killing free speech’, says highly-paid nationally syndicated columnist in YouTube video widely shared on social media
BrexitPoliticsSocietyUKWould you score the required 70 points in the UK’s new points-based migration system? Take our interactive test to find out!
HealthPoliticsUKRoyal Geographical Society launches expedition to find elusive Tory policy on compulsory face masks.
BrexitPoliticsSocietyUKBrexiter having public meltdown over inconvenience of wearing a mask to the supermarket confident he will cope perfectly with ‘No Deal Brexit’
PoliticsUKChris Grayling’s appointment as head of Intelligence Committee sees hundreds of foreign spies made redundant
EntertainmentPoliticsWorldKanye West told not to bother running for President as Trump never hands property keys to black people
PoliticsUKChris Grayling accidentally locks himself in broom cupboard on first day as Chairman of Intelligence Committee
BrexitPoliticsUKMan hailing the return of blue passports has no intention of ever going anywhere ‘foreign’
HealthPoliticsUKGovernment announces new parking meters will clap for NHS staff while charging them £10 to park their cars at work