UKMcDonald’s takes out restraining order against Lee Anderson to prevent him from spending all day spying on their customers
PoliticsUKSue Gray being offered a job proves all of those photos of Boris partying during lockdown were fake, insist Tories
BrexitPoliticsUKThe Conservative Unionist Negotiation Team for Brexit requests that their acronym is not used in reports about the Windsor Framework
PoliticsUKWe must stop the small boats so we can take care of our own first, insists man furious at taxpayer money being used to feed hungry schoolchildren
BrexitPoliticsUKBeing a belligerent, embarrassing cock with bad hair would have got us a better deal insists Boris
BusinessSocietyUKSchrödinger’s sex pest is simultaneously ‘only joking’ and ‘deadly serious’ until he observes a woman’s reaction to his inappropriate behaviour
EnvironmentScienceUKMan who spent over a grand to see the northern lights in Iceland last month now feeling a bit silly
SocietyUK‘The Woke snowflakes had better not try and edit the words in my Bible’, insists man seemingly unaware there are dozens of differently edited versions of the Bible
PoliticsUKRishi Sunak explains to nation why Boris Johnson’s “oven-ready deal” was actually a load of old shite
BrexitUKAfter 52% of frogs voted to Leave the pond and get in the pot, the latest small temperature increase has been dismissed as “scaremongering”
BusinessUKMan who successfully bought tomatoes at his local market insists shortages can not possibly exist elsewhere
EntertainmentWorldNew ‘crisis management team’ for the Oscars introduces safety collars to protect presenters from slaps
