SocietySportsUK‘Of course I HAVE to watch the Austria v North Macedonia game’ insists man making plans with his wife
SocietyUKQueen respectfully marks Prince Philip’s 100th birthday by having quiet dinner with suspected paedophile
EnvironmentPoliticsUKBoris Johnson excuses himself from climate conference and takes short flight back to London for lunch
BrexitPoliticsSocietyUKCarrie Symonds urged not to take a “legalistic, purist” approach to marriage vows
BusinessPoliticsUKActing unlawfully is a bad thing to do, unless it enriches your friends, confirm Tories
SocietyUKSnowflakes furious over removal of portrait they didn’t know existed from room they don’t have access to
EducationEntertainmentSocietyUKZero outcry as Oxford University replaces Queen’s portrait with Dutch from Predator
SocietyUKMan arriving at holiday cottage with removal van baffled after discovering the price was to stay there for one week only
PoliticsSportsUKFootball players agree to train deprived Etonians in civics, political philosophy and rhetoric
SocietySportsUK‘I choose to boo kneeling players because I’m against the Marxist ideology that literally no one on the pitch is advocating’
SocietyUK‘It’s just no maintenance whatsoever’ insists man on his hands and knees brushing and hoovering his artificial grass
SocietyUKMarxism replaces Orwellian as dimwits’ favourite term to chuck around without having faintest idea what it means
PoliticsSportsUKEngland squad lose will to play after Tory backbencher announces boycott of games over them taking the knee
SportsUKJack Grealish perfects ‘Schrödinger’s tackle’, which is both an obvious dive AND blatant foul until his shirt is observed
