SocietyUKWorld“Seize the means of production!” – Harry and Meghan use Oprah interview to incite communist revolution
BusinessTechnologyWorldTen libellous statements about Mark Zuckerberg that he’ll never see as his algorithms have crippled satire
PoliticsUKMoney saved by not giving nurses decent pay rise to be used for Priti Patel’s bullying settlements
BusinessEducationUKSupermarkets prepare for back-to-school Monday with 3-for-2 on “Mummy’s special Ribena”
PoliticsSocietyUK“Don’t fall for Ponzi schemes!” warns government planning to pay your pension by recruiting entirely new generation of gullible taxpayers
PoliticsUKMachiavellian Nicola Sturgeon instantly ends calls for resignation by joining Conservative Party
EntertainmentUKBuckingham Palace to investigate claims that Meghan bullied Prince Andrew into having sex with teenage girls
EntertainmentUKQueen enjoying nights alone by watching Bridgerton and eating pickled onion Monster Munch in bed
SocietyTechnologyApple promise next software update will fix all the issues with the ducking autocorrect
EntertainmentUKDaily Mail vindicated as Prince Philip confirms ‘grandson doing interview’ definitely worse than ‘son being nonce’
SportsUKSitting on a dead horse clearly worse than shooting them if they fall over in one of our races, confirms Jockey Club
PoliticsUKToday’s migrant boat had 300 leopards, some Ebola, and a killer cyborg, insists Nigel Farage
PoliticsWorldNaive French authorities told this whole ‘politicians paying for their crimes’ thing will never catch on
PoliticsWorldDecisive Joe Biden tells Saudi Prince he’s not angry about the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, just disappointed