PoliticsUK“Actually, I said I would rather see bodies pile high than pay for my flat to be renovated” clarifies Boris
SocietySportsTechnologyUKSocial media trolls bravely defy Premier League boycott to remain unlikeable cretinous arseholes
PoliticsUKEx-Special Advisor with well-documented eyesight problems can apparently see everything wrong with government
HealthSocietyUKLockdown protester refusing to wear face mask will be quite happy wearing one in intensive care next month
BusinessSocietyUK‘We shouldn’t have to work today, it’s a disgrace’ says man sat in garden occasionally moving his laptop mouse
SocietyUKDaily Express wanks itself dry as Princess Diana’s grandson celebrates birthday on Saint George’s Day
EnvironmentPoliticsUKBoris Johnson tells COP26 to ‘get serious’ by getting his pole dancing mistress to drive a forklift through a wall of kippers.
PoliticsUKLondon Mayoral hopeful Count Binface facing ridicule after failing to pull ahead of comedy candidate Laurence Fox
BusinessPoliticsUKLivid James Dyson orders PM to scrap £2.6m briefing room after spotting a Henry Hoover in the corner
PoliticsSportsUKBunch of greedy bastards vow to take ‘whatever action necessary’ to stop other bunch of greedy bastards
EntertainmentUKMorrissey furious after The Simpsons portrays him as capable of being someone’s friend