EntertainmentSocietyUKMariah Carey’s ‘All I want for Christmas’ actually improves with every listen, insists retail worker delicately crafting tinsel noose
UKFrog-faced moron herder launches reimagined nativity where the ‘real heroes’ are the innkeepers who insisted they were full
PoliticsWorldExpulsion of George Santos simply for being a fraudulent bullshitter ‘risks dangerous precedent’ insist Republicans
SocietyUKPalaeolithic Dad refuses to discover fire, insisting his family put on extra animal hides first
EnvironmentUKIf climate change is real why did I have to scrape ice off my car this morning, asks man who does all his own research
EnvironmentUKWorldCOP28 delegates reach historic agreement to turn that bloody light off if you’re not in there
SocietyUKAnti-woke free-speech advocate disgusted to learn that his bathroom at home is gender neutral
Subscriber OnlyUKDear Enoch, when I grow up I want to be just like you, by Nigel Farage, aged eight-and-three-quarters
SocietyUK‘I don’t care what the census said, this is a Christian country’ insists man who never sets foot inside a church
SocietyUKWorldProud British patriots demand Elgin marbles be ‘sent back where they came from’ after learning they came here illegally on a small boat
EntertainmentSportsUKRacism accusations stopped me being picked by Gareth Southgate for the 2022 World Cup, insists Laurence Fox
EntertainmentUKNation’s easily-manipulated simpletons continue to be enthralled by arsehole in the jungle
SocietyUKIf you don’t like obeying our laws then you should get out of our country, Tommy Robinson told
WorldIrish patriots congratulated on their nuanced articulation of the issues surrounding immigration using the medium of ‘arson and looting’
BusinessSocietyWorldRudolph facing redundancy after Santa picks up bargain SatNav and LED headlights in Black Friday sale
BusinessSocietyUKWoman secures 25% Black Friday discount simply by wasting 50% of her day shopping for deals
