Labour supporters still shocked and disappointed by Labour election win

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Labour-supporting activists have been left asking what went wrong this week after struggling to reconcile the party they support scoring a huge win in last week’s general election.

Starmer’s time as party leader has been marked by predictions that he had left the party unelectable and his inevitable defeat would usher in an opportunity for someone “properly left-wing” who wants to nationalise cheese and eliminate the Kulak class to take the leadership because that’s what the British people actually really want.

Many Labour supporters insisted that a disappointing election performance for Labour would lead to a leadership challenge and a new leader who would take the party in a proper direction that agrees with them, and they are now ‘completely delighted at the win, I guess, yeah’ that this has not happened.

“I said before the general election that we really needed to win was someone who really, really hates Zionism but is simultaneously utterly cool with Jews and has lots of Jewish friends,” said Twitter activist Simon Williams, “because that’s absolutely top of the list of issues that matter to people in Heckmondwike.

“And although I may have bitten clean through my pen when I heard we’d won handsomely with Starmer in charge I am…. obviously… delighted… to …say…I…was…wro…”

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