Reform voters ‘no understand why Nigel no live in big London house’

author avatar by 3 weeks ago

Reform voters across the country have been left bemused as to why Nigel Farage hasn’t been installed in 10 Downing Street after such a successful evening at the polls.

“Me no get it,” explained Reform Voter Derek Williams, with a deeply furrowed brow and finger in his ear.

“Nigel won. Nigel get house. Nigel the big boss now?” they queried, with all the political sophistication the Reform party has come to rely on during the election campaign.

“Where Nigel? WHERE Nigel??”

When it was explained to Derek that Nigel won a single constituency, out of 650, and that Reform MPs can actually be counted on one hand, Derek looked ever more perplexed.

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“Consti-chewsy? Nigel win election. Not Consti-chewsy! Nigel WIN! NIGEL STOP BOATS!”

At this point Derek began to get agitated, and it was decided it was best to calm him by returning him to his natural habitat inside a Wetherspoons with a copy of the Daily Mail in front of him.